Why Are Property Developers So Evil? We Asked One
Avid readers of STAT will know we HATE property developers. In fact, many of the grievances we have with Manchester are down to those cheeky, wealth-extracting capitalists (see here, here, and here). Our take is simple: private property is a scourge, its servile developers evil. But you should know that by now. What may evade you are the people, the individuals behind these faceless, money-making machines. It’s rare they expose themselves, given what they do. Much to our surprise, then, that one plucky developer agreed to do us a Q&A.
Tim Heatly, he is. Director and co-founder of Capital & Centric, among the most active “social impact” developers in the North West. He was on telly a few years back, a focus of the BBC’s Manctopia docuseries. His Capital & Centric empire is responsible for all sorts across our region: naturally lots in Manchester, mill refurbs and the like; a do-up of Liverpool’s Littlewoods building, which, weirdly, they’ve mostly knocked down; some fancy houses in Bolton suburbia; and a so-called glow up of Wigan’s brutalist former civic centre. Watch what you’re doing with that last one, Tim, I know you’re reading this.
We told Mr Heatly that we wanted to call him a bastard, and for some reason he obliged. We’ve been provocative in our questions and so he’s been quite crafty in his responses, it’s up to you, dear reader, whether you choose to believe him…
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You call yourself a “property developer.” What made you so evil?
Money, well at least that’s what started it. But the focus on making money came from a desire to have complete autonomy in work, without anybody telling me what I could and couldn’t do from one hour to the next. I thought having money would give me that. But then I realised that the power to change things is really what excited me, the ability to control every aspect of people’s lives, where they work, how they live, the gym they use and the cafe bars they frequent.
Why don’t you get a proper job?
Nobody would employ me. Imagine if I was based in an office, I’d slowly start to purchase the desks and furniture around me. I’d begin to paint some of them in funky Scandi colours and upcycle the office chairs with natural fibre upholstery. Before you know it I’d have colonised an entire floor and rebranded it into something like “spacez worx” and I’d be charging colleagues their lunch money to sit there. I wouldn’t do any actual proper work. I’d be fired by HR within weeks.
What’s the endgame? What does your ideal city look like? Be specific. What are people doing and wearing, and where are they going? Does all of it line your pockets?
It looks exactly like Copenhagen. Everybody will be wearing clothes like Stanley Tucci, elegant and sophisticated. They’re gently cycling on a foldable shopper bicycle (complete with child trailer) on their way to buy a breakfast danish pastry from the independent and reassuringly expensive indie bakery. They all wear beautiful understated timepieces without fear of being mugged. They have stylish glasses and a newspaper popping out of their canvas backpack.
YIMBY or NIMBY? And I mean your backyard.
We refer to these as courtyards, because that makes them worth 20% more. I’m well up for development in my backyard. Preferably on land I own, more money for me. And if I don’t like my new neighbours, I can move.
Government subsidies or no government regulation. You can only pick one.
Subsidies, but only to developers that have won things like RIBA awards for design excellence. I see developers that build utter dross getting subsidised, that’s depressing.
Where in Greater Manchester are you eyeing up next? Give us a head start.
Tameside. It’s crying out for a bit more gentrification. It’s got a Metrolink and an IKEA – it’s halfway to being EXACTLY like Copenhagen already.
Any skeletons in the closet? An untold secret of the property development world? What’s the most evil thing you’ve done?
Too little space and not enough time to tell you untold secrets. Here’s a titbit: a few years ago we set up a Tinder profile to lure in our specific demographic of customer. It was our most successful marketing exercise ever.
What’s the easiest part of a building to cut corners on?
The foundations, nobody ever sees them and by the time it’s a problem the developers have sold the buildings and retired to Monaco. They can always be underpinned in 20 years time anyways. Not me though. I do really good foundations.
No bullshit, why is property development such a money maker? Particularly in Manchester.
The universities. They suck people in from across the globe. Graduates want to stay and live here for FOMO of a well-paid job. The result is lots of well-paid people, not enough homes, and guaranteed profit.
Why do property developers have such poor taste? Can you stop it with the grey rendering and fluorescent spotlights? Pretty please?
Well, money can’t buy taste, and if you’ve ever watched Real Housewives of Cheshire, you’ll know that despite appearances, it’s not vindictive. They do it to their own homes too.
Favourite politician? (living or dead) And one you hate the most?
Favourite: Liz Truss, created generations of guaranteed rental customers from sky-high mortgage rates. Least favourite: Liz Truss, almost bankrupted us by eliminating our ability to get a loan for gentrification.
Two warmongering free-marketeers stand in front of you, you can only shake hands with one: Margaret Thatcher or Tony Blair?
Tony. True fact: he actually owns a lot of flats in Greater Manchester already, so I’d take the opportunity to flog him some more.
Communism or Anarcho-capitalism? You know, if you had to?
I’m a property developer, I’ll have to Google what that means.
Imagine for a moment that the masses of previously uncoordinated revolutionary communist groups have converged as part of one movement, your property is sure to be seized promptly. Why should they spare you?
Because we have everybody’s wifi password, the pin codes for entry of premises, and all the logins for CCTV. Surely they’ll need us?
Abolish Manchester? Yes or No?
It’s only a few years before we take over London and move onto Europe. Oldham will be rebranded Öldhamsk, Rochdale will be Rich-dàlè and before we know it the Scandification will be complete. Lots of money to be made. I think we should let it slide for a year or two.
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